Fraudster Picks Wrong Email Address... The Result: Hilarity!

Yesterday I received an email from what I assumed was a fraud artist. While I wasn't sure what the fraud was, I was interested to find out and to have some fun in the process. Several emails and a phone call from the fraudster later it was lawyer 1 fraud artist 0. Below is a transcript of the conversation in all of its hilarious glory.


On May 7, 2015, at 6:50 AM, Chief Consultant


We want to buy goods, please let me know your opening time.

Chief Consultant.

Although we don't sell goods, per se, I was intrigued... So I replied with our hours of operation....

On 5/7/15, Quinn Ross < wrote:

Dear Chief Consultant,

We open at 07:00GMT Mon-Sat unless there is a waning gibbous in which case we open from 13:00PST. If Saturn is in retrograde we are closed Friday's but start to open at 05:00GMT the second Saturday after the vernal equinox.

During northern hemisphere eclipses (lunar or solar) our hours are inverted Am to Pm. During Southern Hemisphere eclipses (lunar only) we return to normal hours but in CST+5

Hope this helps.


Amazingly, this did not dissuade our persistent criminal mastermind.


On May 11, 2015, at 6:28 AM, Chief Consultant
< wrote:


Thanks so much and We apologize for the late response. I have some Chinese guest who are coming in town for their vocation and we have seen your place as a quality store where the guest will be coming for shopping till the end of their stay. As it is now, we want to make a Shopping deposit of $3000 for the goods they will be taking from your store when they arrive and any goods they take will be deduct from the $3000 and we will deposit more amount if the guest take more goods during their stay. be inform that the guests are VIP and will not be carrying money around, so it is my duty to make every arrangements for them before they arrive. Kindly let me know when you will be in the store, so that i will send my credit card details for you to process the payment.

I understand that you pay a surcharge to your credit card company on the amount of the transaction, I confirm we are willing to pay the surcharge.

Please confirm the charges as below:

* Shopping Deposit....$3000
* Bank% charge on card (surcharge):.....?

Names of guest:
Mr. Déhuá Jianguo, Yang (46 yrs)

Arrival Date........Departing Date
20th June ........28th June 2015

Provide me with the following information:
1. Your Company full name/address
2. Name of the Contact person
3. Direct Telephone.
4. I hope you have POS and what type of credit cards you accept ??.

I will send you my credit card details as soon as I receive your
confirmatory email.


Chief Director,
Mike Don
110 State Street, Albany.
New York United State.
Phone: 347-460-9731


Still no clear scam, but I can smell it coming. They want to give me $3,000.00 in business... Well we will see about that.


On 5/11/15, Quinn Ross < wrote:

Dear Mr. Don,

Thanks for your email. We do foreign excursions routinely. In order to facilitate this request we will need a commitment to a minimum of $15,000.00 as our least expensive item is priced in excess of the paltry $3,000 you mentioned.

We can assure you that your clients will be most satisfied.

Generally we suggest a patron start with our 'fountain of youth' - a restorative bath consisting of the tears of infant lambs and Chuck Norris' saliva. This sets the stage for the remainder of the experience. This 45 minute rebirth is priced at $4,399.99

From here your clients will have a wide variety of offerings available, from bat guano facials to our 'pick me up' caffeine high colonic.

Throughout the experience refreshing beverages and light snacks are on offer.

Please note we only accept Am/Ex Black cards which as you probably know have a 17% surcharge. Additionally there will be a service gratuity automatically added to all accounts of 22% with a $2,500 minimum.

We look forward to your information, the names of your guests (with copies of their Government ID), a copy of your Am/Ex Black card (front and back), a sample of your signature and 2 pieces of Government ID - notarized by your New York State attorney. Upon receipt we will quickly run your information for confirmation (generally with foreign nationals we like to notify Homeland Security as a courtesy).

If you require security for your guests, kindly provide their hair sample so we can have a DNA profile available in the event of a kidnapping or other unfortunate event. We use Blackwater security and have found them both a good deterrent and competent response force.

Have a wonderful day and thank you for choosing us.


Despite the steep costs and 'rigorous' security protocols, our intrepid dirtbag presses on undeterred. And finally, the scam becomes clear!


From: Chief Consultant []
Sent: May-11-15 8:38 AM
To: Quinn Ross
Subject: Urgent Update....


I have discussed with the guest and they agreed but i have a little problem regarding the guests because they don't speak your local language, Please i am so sorry for the inconveniences, but we are instructed by the guest to hire a translator, who will guide them, take them for sight-seeing and interpret every words to their language when they arrive. The translator will also take care of their own travel logistics like flight tickets, travel insurance, car rentals for the guests etc.

I have made arrangement with the translator who will provide them with the qualified translator, due to the translator don't have credit card facility to accept her payment and we make all payments with credit card. Therefore, On the receipt of my credit card details, I authorized you to charge from my credit card $15,000.00 deposit for the Shopping Deposit, plus $13,500.12 for the (Translator), all in your account. Deduct the $15,000.00 for the Shopping Deposit and then transfer the balance to the translator to enable them make other arrangements as explained above. I understand that you pay a surcharge to your credit card company on the amount of the transaction, I
confirm we are willing to pay the surcharge. i really want you to make this payment to the translator on behalf of me under your company as they don't have a credit card facility (POS machine). Thanks for your understanding.

Please confirm the charges as below and give me the total:

* Shopping Deposit:....$15,000.00

* Translator Fee: $13,500.12
* Bank% charge on card(surcharge)17%
* Total............??

Provide me with your:

Contact person.......
Direct Telephone......

Let me know as soon as you are in the office.


Chief Director,
Mike Don


Well of course they need a translator, and of course I will pay them from the money you authorized on your credit card... But wait, I have a better idea.. We can provide those services to you at a lower cost.


On 5/11/15, Quinn Ross < wrote:


Thank you for your email. With respect to your need for a translator, we are pleased to advise that we have a device known as a babel fish

This organic technology is inserted into the ear of the guest and instantly translates with 100% accuracy any known earthly dialect as well as several alien languages which SETI has chronicled over the last several decades. We trust your guest would speak an earth language and not alien, however if they do speak an otherworldly language we are competent to provide translation
services for languages from the Andromeda Galaxy as well as most of the subsets of languages from the Pleiades regions of our own solar system.

We find that this tends to cover the gambit of our client's needs. Additionally we are happy to offer this service at a cost of $7,000.00 which is a significant savings to your clients. We trust that this will be satisfactory and accordingly request you add the additional charge of $7,000.00 to the $15,000.00 already committed for a total of $23,000.00.

Please find attached our standard credit agreement. Kindly complete this document and have it signed with the remainder of the identifying information requested previously.

We have taken the liberty of locating you by way of your IP address and will have a courier/security team on site at your premises to take custody of the documents required.

We thank you again for your patronage and look forward to working with you in this process.


I thought for sure this would have done it... but no! Shortly thereafter I received a phone call from our friend trying to confirm the need for the translator and the terms of payment. Our service wouldn't work because the translator would need to also be their driver as we were only one stop of many. Fair enough, we returned to his scam and proceeded. I was required to give a name to ensure my bona fides. I went by my favourite alias, Froque Habibula.

After this call I searched his number and found it to have been used in a similar fraud in the UK involving rental accommodation, under the name of Paul Cole.


On 5/11/15, Quinn Ross < wrote:

Dear Paul Cole/Mike Don,

We wish to advise that we also offer accommodation for your guests and would be pleased to book the following rooms for your guests. Would you like us to communicate with you as Paul Cole or Mike Don? Would you like us to use your Naperville Illinois address or your Albany New York address?

Thanks in advance,

Faroque Habibula


That's it right?! He must know the jig is up. Silence... Until this morning.


Hi Faroque,

Thanks for your mail and i was waiting for your confirmation email regarding our conversation on the phone yesterday. You can call me Mike Don and as well use Albany New York as my address. Be informed that everything regarding this trip has been arranged including Accommodation, Homeland security, DNA, Attorney confirmation, ETC. so don't worry about anything or if you have any question just let me know. Like i said on the phone yesterday that the translator is also the logistics agent for the guests, also the responsible for the flight arrangements of the guests as well and The reason I am requesting your assistance is because the translator does not have a credit card facility and All payments for this trip is being made via my credit card. i want you to process your payment $15,000.00 plus $13,500.12 for the translator to enable arrange the trip. Kindly reconfirm that you will process my credit card accordingly as stated below:

Your service fee:....$15,000.00 + 17%
Translator Fee: $13,800.12 + 17%

Total:...$28,500.12 + 17% Surcharge.

I will forward my credit card details for you to charge as earlier agreed then upon confirmation of the amount in your bank, I shall forward bank details of the translator for onward transfer.

Let me know when you will be in the office so that I can forward my credit card details for you to process.


Mike Don.


WOW! Where do I go from here. It would seem this sorry sap is stuck on stupid. Should I continue to correspond with Mr. Don, y'all will be the first to know. Stay tuned crime fighters!